Date: Wed, 29 Nov 2000 14:59:17 -0700
To: fishbreath@somewhere.net
From: ef
Subject: gimme some advice
Reply-To: fishbreath@somewhere.net
gimme some advice
a goodperson of my acquaintance donated some money into the ah, cause... you know, my obsession... well, i guess i have made it you guyses obsession too... enough so that i can go back and try to do stuff, and do stuff with. help ya know. like get them a lawyer, for eg.
i sure could use some advice as to how to use this best. for example, should *i* go there and do it myself or should i continue to use zoli. on one hand, if i go there it will use up about 1000 for airfare... but then i can also take things, like warm clothing i can collect here, and the computer i got for zoli - i did a website in a trade for that - along. seeing as it is incredibly expensive to mail things there, and the computer impossible unless someone takes it along.
also, i am afraid of zoli suffering grief from his employer if he keeps taking days off. jobs are hard to find. and he is starting to be a bit burned out, working 2 shifts a day, and then trying to deal with stuff in vasarhely.
if i go, then i can look around myself, and distribute where needed. there are people also, that need. and if i am there, i can teach those kids a lot of things... you know, open the window a bit. also, i could try to find that syrian doctor who helps streetkids and offer a bit of help there too.
and thirdly, money corrupts. i might have to pay larger amounts, like for the lawyer, as you know. can zoli handle that, when he is so broke himself... tho i am also trying to help him. corruption, tho i think myself immune, i am not so sure about zoli... and i would just as soon he not have to face that part of himself. he is too young and too vulnerable. and too much in need himself.
on the other hand, if i don't go myself, that airfare money can very much serve much better purpose. it can go a long way, over there. and maybe my wanting to go is nothing but self-indulgence. ohyouknow, cause it makes me feel good to see people happy, or that i am suffering from a hitherto unexperienced surge of maternality, haha. both of which are kinda selfish.
so gimme advice, oh wiser ones than me
-e
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